The first step in getting back with your ex is to figure out why the split occurred in the first place. In several cases, it may be because your ex could not deal with certain behaviors.
If this is reflected in your parting, you need to accept it. You have to determine the particular behaviors and stay away from them, forever and in reality. Verbal promises from my ex stating “I’ve changed” is a superficial show and not enough to take hime back.
First of all, your ex is not going to believe you. Nobody makes significant changes very quickly, they take time. If you’re going to get your ex to thinking about making a second go of it, you’ve got to convince him or her that you really have changed for good.
You need to convince your ex that you really are putting in the work it takes to make yourself better. For instance, reading books, researching for help online, taking classes or even therapy.
You will only be able to do this if you are actually putting forth a concerted attempt to make a difference. You’ll be happy to do this, if you’re serious about wanting your ex back.
If you just put on a show but the change doesn’t go deeper than the surface, you may get a second chance but it’s guaranteed not to last long. When your old relationship problems crop up, and you know they will, your ex will once again decide to end the relationship.
They will feel tricked, betrayed and foolish. Again, you’ll be saying, “I want my ex back.” But you had your chance and blew it.
Other than a chance to get your ex back, and to really make a change, there is a 3rd reason: Do it for yourself.
The problems with your ex are rooted in emotions and behaviors that probably affect other parts of your life. For example, the feeling of being jealous has origins in feelings of poor self-esteem as well as insecurity, resulting, not so obviously, in trouble on your job or in your relations with friends and family.
By putting your own emotional needs first, you will end being a healthier and happier person, which will help you attract the right kind of person, someone who is far more likely to get a second chance with their ex, and get them back for keeps.
Because these efforts aren’t simply part of a scheme to get another chance, your ex will have more respect for you and the lengths that you are going to.
