A meddling mother-in-law is the brunt of many jokes, the focus of much gossip, and even the antagonist on the movie screen. During conversations of money, raising children, and dealing with lifes issues, theres bound to be disagreements between family members. For some unknown reason, some in-laws feel their opinion is just as important as your spouses when it shouldnt be. Clearly they care for the wellbeing of their child and grandchildren, but they dont always know whats best for you and your family.
Most of the time, looking at the situation from their point of view can enable you to shrug the comment off. But what about the times when they have gone too far. How do we diffuse the situation with confrontation or rudeness?
Standing your ground on whats important to you is essential to proving your point, even when youre surrounded by opposing arguments. Know your reasons for your opinion (and just because doesnt count) and state them. Speaking out about how you feel will let others know you care about the subject and your family. But realize, you arent likely to change their opinions, just like they wont changes yours. Your goal should be mutual respect of one anothers opinions.
Staying quiet, but still angry underneath can indicate to others that you’re either too timid, or agree with what they’re saying! This may give the wrong impression, and invite them to make further distasteful comments. Even if you haven’t come to a decision, and don’t feel the need to speak up yet, it is an idea to at least let them know you’re still thinking.
Even seemingly constructive comments can have hidden meaning. What is said sounds nice, but has sarcastic undertones. This can turn into big arguments if not nipped in the bud.
You must try your hardest to not retaliate in a similar way – don’t fight fire with fire. Also remember, that the comment may have never been intended to be rude in the first place. If you were meant to be hurt by it, try to follow these two rules ~ First, never show any emotion (or don’t even let yourself experience it in the first place), or tell them that you don’t really understand what they said. Second, just face up and tell them straight that you don’t respect what was said, and don’t appreciate their tone.
Dont be afraid to let others know that although a suggestion of money management or child rearing may have worked for them, youre quite certain you are doing the best you can with your family and circumstances. Just because it worked for one person does not guarantee it will work with another person.
Whichever route you decide to take, bare in mind that it’s always better to diffuse the situation by sitting down and being honest, than it is shouting at each other.
Repair Your Relationship -- Some Various Viewpoints
